Cream of Potato Soup

Before I tell you about the crummy stuff going on, I first want to say that I am watching two bluejays build a nest in the big tree outside our office window. It's a pretty cool thing to watch on a beautiful sunny morning. I don't know if we'll be able to see it once there are leaves on the trees, but it will be nice to know it is there.

Now for the crap.

We got a call from Children's Institute on Friday, letting us know that our insurance will not pay for further therapy for Evan. We were floored, and Mike right away got on the phone to our insurance company. Apparently they will pay for therapy if Evan has had a stroke or a blow to his windpipe, but not if he is "just developmentally delayed". Boy did that take the wind out of our sails.

So now we have a couple of options. I have to call Ev's pediatrician today to ask him to put the claim under medical review--he'll need to add more information to his report and resubmit it to see if it will help our case (I'm doubtful that it will). I should also get a packet in the mail today to apply for some monetary assistance. One is a fund from the institute itself that, depending on your income, will pay a percentage of your therapy costs and travel expenses while your child is at the Institute. The other is medical assistance (the big MA) that will probably take months and yards of paperwork to apply for--though it is not income based for children with Evan's "disability", said the helpful clerk at Children's.

Yeah, I don't really like thinking of Evan as "disabled", but whatever.

So I'm hoping the institute fund will be able to help, at least some, and that will allow us to get things moving. I will also apply for MA for him, but I have a feeling this is going to be like trying to get SSI for him when he was in the NICU. Lots and lots of paper work and phone calls to end up with big jackie crap. But if we do get approved, I guess MA would pay for everything Ev's insurance does not--even copays and prescriptions. That might be helpful if we end up facing years of therapy and stuff.

I probably won't post for the next few days, I'm going to be drowning in paperwork and banging my head on the desk.

Posted by jenny at 09:54 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Yesterday's big adventure was a trip to Splash Lagoon, Erie's indoor water park, with Lisa and Colton. Evan and I were up early for our drive to Erie, and we got to the park a little after it opened at 9. The reason we were going is because we had heard rumors of a "Mommy and Me" special that lets you get in cheaply on certain weekdays (neither one of us gave a thought to going at the usual $25 entrance fee, believe me!).

The rumors were true, and before you know it, two mommies and two little boys were all suited up and ready for a morning of fun. At first, neither of them were sure they liked it--it's loud in there with all the rushing water, and Cole was especially sensitive about a foghorn that sounds every few minutes. Luckily, they adjusted in no time and had a fabulous few hours.

There is a whole children's area, complete with water jets that shoot from the floor, a foot deep kid's pool with slides and waterfalls and fountains, and even a kid's hot tub! The boys swam, they slid, they played, and Evan even let me put a lifejacket on him (he was thrilled with the way it kept his head above water). We all had a blast, and after about three hours of hard core fun we decided it was time to dry off and head home.

All in all, it was a great day, and we'll have to do it again soon. The only dark spot on the day (pardon the pun) was that Lisa brought a disposable camera--but neither of us was bright enough to remember to use the flash and none of the pictures turned out. Boo! They would have been really cute pictures too, I can assure you!

Oh well, it gives us an excuse to go back soon!

Posted by jenny at 09:23 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

So for the past two weeks or so, Evan has had this shoe thing. That's all I can think of to call it--he's got a thing for shoes. At first it was only every few days and he was most interested in putting on big shoes (mine or Mike's) and shuffling around the house in them. One day he even got into my heeled black boots. Every time the poor guy lifted his foot to walk it would slip right out of the boot. He would patiently put his foot back in and begin again. This would go on for several minutes, until he would accept just one boot and leave the other socked foot out in the cold.

Hey, it makes him happy.

The last few days have been all about his snow boots. Since about Friday, Ev's been wearing at least one if not both of his own snow boots all day long. From the time he gets up in the morning to the time I rip them off before bed, he's got the boots. I think he likes them because they stay on his feet better but he's still able to put them on himself. Mike and I think it's hilarious, watching him clomp around the house in his snow boots.

A lot of this shoe stuff is about independence, I think. Evan is really into doing things for himself lately--taking socks off, putting his shirts on, and the shoes. He's starting to have his own opinion about the way things should be done, and he lets us know about it. It's definitely made things interesting around here.

Or I could be saying that to make myself feel better, and my kid is just a weirdo obsessed with footwear. But it makes him happy.

Posted by jenny at 10:39 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

Well, we're back from our visit to Pittsburgh. I'm glad we got out of town when we did, because the ice and sleet in the Burgh was nothing compared to the 10 inches of snow that greeted us upon our return to Meadville.

But enough about the weather.

Evan's evaluation went pretty well. I was worried because we got to Children's Institute about a half hour early (I was fretting about traffic) and we were stuck in the waiting room trying to amuse Ev. By the time we got called back, he was pretty annoyed and I thought for sure he'd tank when he saw the five people waiting to evaluate him.

My boy came through though--he sat on my lap for the first few minutes, but after Mike and I began recounting his history to the assembled team, Evan decided to climb down and go play with the occupational therapist. Score.

He played well and interacted with all the therapists. His nutrition, behavior, fine motor skills and speech were examined while he played and fed himself a meal. The team adjourned after about an hour and a half and then came back to us with a recommendation.

We didn't get a diagnosis, but we are okay with that. I'm starting to worry less about putting a name on what Evan has or is, and more about doing what's best for him. I wouldn't love him any less or work any harder to help him if we were told he had autism or sensory integration disorder or apraxia any of the 3 million other things I've worried about him having. So I'm going to try to stop obsessing about that part of it.

Basically, we were told that they see kids like Ev all the time--and we could be getting more help for him than we are getting right now at home. The OT thought he could get Evan to completely overcome his texture aversions. He's greatly improved, to the point that he can even touch a banana, but he still could do better. The SLP thought that Ev was on the right track to developing speech, but that he needed more help and a clear communication method to do it.

So starting next month, Ev will go to Wexford once a week for speech and OT. He'll probably do that for the balance of the summer, at which time we'll be given the tools needed to continue his therapy at home. His new therapists will work with the ones here in Meadville to get a plan in place that worksfor Ev. I'm glad that we're going to get some extra attention--I had been feeling that we were missing the boat with him and I was afraid that we might never get him on target.

It was a good visit, and I'm hoping for more good news when we see his doctor at Children's Hospital again in two weeks. To recap: no diagnosis, but a hopeful report, and we are pleased parents tonight.

Posted by jenny at 08:34 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

I had this big post written in my head about this weekend, and some thoughts I had about Mike and our past together and how things have changed. But I'll save it for later.

Today we are all set to head to Evan's eval at Children's Institute--a few days early, but we're not about to let a freak snow storm get in our way this time. I'm anxious and my stomach is in knots, but I'm trying not to get too crazy. Wish us luck and I'll report back later in the week.

Posted by jenny at 03:56 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I write this on my last morning without Ev. He'll be back this afternoon (weather permitting) and I'm glad for that. I've been mostly relaxing while he's been gone, which has been great for me. I've played on the computer, watched movies, read books. I've slept in and gone on dates with Mike. It's been nice, but I'm ready to be Mommy again. I missed him.

One big change in my life this week is that I've started working out again. I haven't really done any of that since I was in college, and it feels so good! I go to Curves and so far I love it. It's just what I needed to get me going. I can even walk there from home (God bless Meadville) so that adds some additional time on to my workout. Mike and I have been eating better since Lent began (a positive sacrifice) and I've lost 8 pounds so far on diet alone. I'm excited to see the difference now that I'm adding exercise in and starting to build muscle. It's nice to have some energy for a change!

For now, I should hit the showers before the little guy gets back. I'm sure he would rather not have a stinky Mommy giving him hugs when he gets home.

Posted by jenny at 11:21 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I am so alone.

Yesterday, out of the blue, Mike's parents swooped into Meadville and took our little Evan away. They missed him, and thought we would appreciate a little break, so they took him back to their house until Friday. That's three days without my baby.

This is so weird.

Evan and I have been apart before, but never for no reason. It was always because we had some event going on (moving, travel, etc.) and needed someone to watch him. Just being at home without him is so foreign. I slept in until 10, watched a movie, took a long shower. I feel so indulgent.

And he's not coming back for 48 more hours. I'm feeling borderline anxious. What do I do with myself when I'm not Mommy?

This is so weird.

Posted by jenny at 04:43 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

So Evan was up until 1 am again last night (and up at 8 this morning). This was the third night in a row, and I am getting very tired. Neither of us is getting enough sleep and I'm getting to the end of my rope.

Here's the problem. I start trying to get him to go to bed at 9. He's tired, I give a bath, read a story, snuggle quietly. Just as it looks like he's going to fall asleep, he springs up with a renewed energy and decides that he can go another three hours or so. We struggle, we fight, he wins.

This is what our nights look like if he naps during the day. If he doesn't nap, he goes to bed around 8:30 and will usually sleep through (or, as much as he usually sleeps through, which is til 4 or so when he decides to come into our bed). This is okay, except with no nap he is a total grouch from about 4 pm until bedtime. Not to mention that sometimes he just doesn't make it and falls asleep in his dinner, which he considers a nap and then stays up til one.

I feel like we're caught in this vicious cycle--up late, nap, up late, sleep in, no nap, down early, up early, nap, up late, up early, nap, up late......you get the idea. What do I do with this stubborn two year old in this in-between stage?

Posted by jenny at 09:52 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

This weekend was for family and little errands. Evan and I spent Friday enjoying the beautiful weather and playing outside. In the evening, Mike fired up our grill and we relaxed with the windows open. Jerry came to stay the night on his way home from law school, and we had a nice visit before turning in early.

Saturday started with a big breakfast and the rest of the day was spent tooling around Meadville, doing little errands and shopping. Mike did some freelance in the evening and Evan and I played and kicked back. Ev continued his new pattern of not wanting to go to bed, as I became tired and more annoyed.

Today we headed up to Erie for a big turkey dinner with my family. It was great because all of my brothers were there--Jerry home from school and Steve and Tim at home, which they are usually not. We had fun just hanging out and talking and laughing. My brothers can make me laugh so hard, and they didn't disappoint me this time either. I miss just hanging out with them on a regular basis because it's always good fun.

Evan is currently well into one of his "I don't want to go to bed" moods, so I'm signing off.

Posted by jenny at 10:42 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Evan spent a glorious weekend with his Daddy and Papa, playing outside, going swimming, eating M & M's and watching Elmo. Evan's mommy spent the weekend cleaning and having not nearly as much fun as Evan, but somehow we are both very worn out today. We took a long nap this afternoon--what a sweet luxury that is.

It's March now, which I am thrilled about. We're at that point when you can almost see the end of winter--it's almost 60 today, but the gray clouds and wind don't make it seem like a very nice day. What I wouldn't give to open the windows and play outside in the afternoons. Ev got a little taste of that last week, and now he wants to go out whether it's raining or freezing.

We are going out later tonight, to give Daddy some time to himself and to go birthday shopping for one of Evan's buddies. Not quite as exciting as playing outside, but for now it will have to do.

Posted by jenny at 05:03 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)