Cream of Potato Soup

We are better here, and every day we improve. I guess it's hard to move into another phase of your life without a few growing pains, and we're feeling ours as Evan becomes three. This birthday seemed so momentous for us, as it signaled so many changes in our daily routine. It will be a few weeks I think before we get a handle on things again.

Today Ev started his outpatient speech therapy at the hospital (fine), and tomorrow starts preschool. I'm trying not to think too much about it yet. You'll hear from me tomorrow, if I fall apart or rejoice, if Evan shines like a star or screams when I leave him. It's going to be a big day for all of us.

Posted by jenny at 04:23 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

The sleeping thing is slowly improving. Evan went to sleep at 9:30 last night, but he slept unti 9:30 this morning. Now we just have to move those times back a bit and we'll be golden. I noticed that the sleep disturbances began when I upped Evan's fish oil dosage a few weeks back. The extra has not helped his speech or behavior any, so I took him back down to the old dosage. Here's hoping that's the problem solved.

As for the behavior/communication thing I mentioned earlier....basically we're not allowed to give Evan anything unless he asks for it. No food, no drink, no toys, no crayons, nothing. He has to either sign correctly or verbally approximate to get each item. If he doesn't, then he doesn't get it. I cannot begin to tell you how difficult this has made things.

Evan is stubborn, and can't or won't sign certain things. In this contest, he can outlast me every time. He would rather not have something than have to ask for it properly. He also throws these incredible tantrums when he can't tell us what he wants--he knows we know and he can't figure out why we're not helping him. He's frustrated, and so are we, as we're spending entire evenings trying to get him to sign "color" back to us.

Will this get him communicating? Maybe. But in the meantime it's making our lives miserable. Every small task takes forever, every activity is a battle. And we're all getting tired of fighting.

Posted by jenny at 03:22 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Because I'm still waiting.

From September until about two weeks ago, we had Evan on a pretty decent sleep schedule. Mommy gives Ev a bath at 6:30, Daddy puts him to bed at 7, and he sleeps until 7 in the morning. Granted, he'd still come in our bed sometime during the night (usually between 4 and 6), but it was working for us.

Now that has changed. Evan started resisting bedtime (usually if I try putting him down) and staying up later and later. First 8:30, then 10 and night before last the kid was up until midnight. We both tried numerous times to get him to sleep, but nothing worked. I honestly thought about forcing him to stay in his room, but that's not a solution either--all he does is either trash the place, hurt himself, or cry until he throws up.

Last night I told Mike we were getting serious--back to the 7 o'clock bedtime or bust. Unfortunately, we went bust. I needed some time to myself, as Evan and I are really getting on each others last nerve. (This is due partly to cabin fever and partly to a new communication/behavior system that his preschool teacher advised us to put him on, but more about that later). Mike recognized that I needed a break. He put Ev down at 7, and E went right to sleep. We thought we were golden for the evening.

Until Evan came downstairs at quarter to 9.

I tried putting him back down several times, nothing worked. Finally, we all headed to bed around 11:30, and I even stayed out of the room for Daddy to work his sleeping magic. No dice. Evan came out of the bedroom to join me downstairs at about midnight, and we were up playing until after 2. I finally convinced him to go back to his bed, and we fell asleep together on his little twin mattress. Neither of us got a good night's sleep, due to the late bedtime and Evan peeing the bed in the early morning hours.

And now we are both up again. Evan is fine, but cranky, and I have a headache for the fourth day in a row and I think we should both just go back to bed. Somehow I don't think that's going to happen.

Posted by jenny at 09:51 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Is that how you would spell boobickets? Jerry, Steven, help me out.

We had a pretty crazy weekend around here. After our second preschool visit Friday, we decided to have a fun night out and went to Grove City for shopping and birthday fun. Incidentally, Ev will be attending preschool Tuesday and Wednesday mornings at the Meadville Y starting February 1st. Mike and I were really impressed with the classroom, and Evan felt right at home there too. I think we've found the best placement for him, and I'm so happy about that. I'll have more to say on that subject once we have our first day under our belts!

Saturday was supposed to be Evan's birthday party with my family, but the massive amounts of snow that day kind of ruined that one. I decided to postpone the party until Sunday, hoping for better weather. We did get it, as we woke on Sunday to sunny skies and plowed roads. Unfortunately, the weather in Erie was still not the best and it made some guests a little nervous about driving down to Meadville.

My mom, dad, Steve and Stacey braved it though, and they lucked out--everyone reported clear roads and decent travel conditions. Evan was excited to see everyone and really enjoyed having them over. He opened his presents all by himself this time, something he didn't do at Christmas. I was happy he'd figured it out finally! He loved the train pieces and puppets from Grandma and the Merry-Go-Zoo from Grandpa. With such a small group, we were able relax and chat and play, and Ev had so much fun.

He also was thrilled to blow out his candle on his cake, and I hope he has just as much enthusiasm at his party this coming weekend. We'll be celebrating with some of Mike's family and a few of Evan's pals. Until then, we have a mostly quiet week, our first without therapy in a year and a half. I'm sure we can entertain ourselves!

While you're here, check out the photo library link at the top of the page. Mike added two new galleries tonight--fall and Christmas 2004. Enjoy!

Posted by jenny at 10:04 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Happy Birthday, pal. Here's to another wonderful year. 2 was fun and hard and exciting and scary, and I don't anticipate year 3 being any different.

Posted by Mike at 01:53 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Ev's last few haircuts have been nightmares--him sitting on my lap and screaming and sputtering while I try to hold his head still for the (mostly) patient stylist. I've been putting off taking E for a haircut all week, but with his birthday tomorrow and parties coming up, I bit the bullet this afternoon.

The kid walks right in there, sits on the little eagle chair (it looks like a ride that you'd put a quarter in outside of K-Mart, but it doesn't move) and starts watching a video. He was still and quiet for the entire haircut--clippers, scissors, the whole deal. The only time he got a little pissed was when they used those tiny clippers at the end to even his sideburns and shave his neck. I didn't have to hold him down on my lap or anything. And he signed "thank you" to the stylist when she was finished.

You could have knocked me over with a feather. Sometimes I think we really underestimate this boy.

P.S. I think we have found a preschool! Both Mike and I are really happy with it. I'll post about that when it's a done deal.

Posted by jenny at 01:54 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I dress my Ev carefully every day, except for the days of the "I Will Only Wear Footie Pajamas" strike of aught-four. I always match his socks to his shirt, I always make sure he's dressed appropriately for the activities of the day. Today, when the temps are hitting +5 in the sun, my son is wearing:

1. black knit "Pigface" hat
2. navy blue, tan and green striped turtleneck (Christmas gift from Aunt Cara)
3. size 5 Pampers diaper
4. dark blue "Buzz Lightyear" light-up sneakers

That's it, no pants, no socks. I can assure you that this is not the ensemble I dressed him in this morning. Evan has taken it upon himself to add and subtract pieces to create his own unique look. It is truly stunning. I would post a picture, but Ev told me he didn't want anyone copying his ideas.

Posted by jenny at 04:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Our very busy week has turned into an almost idle week. Our last two speech therapies, scheduled for yesterday and today, were cancelled because Ev's therapist was in a car accident. Luckily she's okay, but unfortunately we won't see her again because she can't reschedule after his birthday. We won't even get to say goodbye! And our second preschool visit was also supposed to be this morning, but was cancelled because our district has a two hour delay. We'll try again on Thursday.

We're starting to feel the effects of winter. It's very snowy, and the temperature is hovering around 10 degrees. I wanted to take Evan outside while I shovel, but it's just too cold for that. I'm cranky about being stuck in the house, and so is E-Dog. All he wants to do is watch TV or play on the computer, which is hard to limit when you can't get away from it (but believe me, I'm trying). All I want to do is lay on the couch and watch TV too. I haven't been sleeping for the last few days either, so I'm sure I'm not much fun to be around. This grumpy wife and mother is not doing her job well right now.

I lust for a beach vacation--Ev swimming, the sun on our faces, relaxing in the warm breeze. I would settle for an afternoon at Splash Lagoon. Hell, at this point I'd settle for dinner at a Burger King with an indoor play area. Let the kid blow off some steam, and let Mommy get out of the house. Only two more months until spring.

Posted by jenny at 11:15 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Yesterday at about 3 we dropped Mike off at the Erie airport so he could travel to Middlebury, Vermont for a conference. I just spoke to him on the phone (9 am) and he's still in Detroit. He's hopeful he'll make it to his destination by lunchtime, but I wouldn't bank on it. What a messy trip for him.

Things are going better for us at home. We're up, dressed, and ready to face the day. I've opened all the windows to let some fresh air in--it's 65 degrees already this morning. Too bad that by dinner it's going to be about 30. But I'll take what I can get.

Therapy is at 11:30 this morning, and after that only three more in-home visits before they cut us off. This afternoon Evan and I are going to look at the first of his two preschool choices. The IU has recommended either a program in Saegertown or one at the downtown Y. We'll look at both and decide which is the best placement for E. He'll be going twice a week starting as soon as possible.

I know that this is a good thing for him, but I'm already starting to panic. My baby, who at this time last year was still nursing, is going to school? I'm supposed to give him a little backpack and stick him on the bus? How can this be happening? I get a tightness in my chest every time I think about it. I always laughed at those mothers that cried when they sent their children off to the first day of kindergarten, but I fully expect to be in hysterics that day.

I'm sure we'll both adjust and we'll both be fine--but it's still so hard to imagine. My baby's not a baby anymore.

Posted by jenny at 09:14 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Having Evan in our lives has been a challenge, even from the first day. We're constantly dealing with insurance issues and therapy visits and new evaluations--sometimes it's easy to get lost in all of that. I know that very often I feel frustrated and angry about the way things are going. I just want so desperately for Evan to have it easy for once.

But underneath all of that, there is this perfectly beautiful little boy who amazes me every day. Some of the things he does are so cute and so funny and you can't help but love him. If I raise my voice to him, he gets a pouty look on his face and comes over to kiss me. If I'm talking too much, he opens and closes his mouth as if he's saying, "blah blah blah". He likes to poke at my belly and imitate the players on Hot Shots Golf 3. He thinks that signing "more, please" and "thank you" will get him anything in the world, and it usually does.

When he's asleep at night, he rolls all around in his bed. Half the time, he ends up with his feet on his pillow or his head hanging off the side. When I watch him sleep, I marvel at his long eyelashes and the tiny smile on his face while he dreams. I still go in to check on him at least once during the night (if he doesn't come to our room first). I don't think I'll ever stop worrying about him this way, and that scares me.

My heart just aches for loving him, and I can't imagine my life without him. He's changed absolutely everything in our lives, and we don't even care. I never thought that having a son would feel this way, but it does. It's been awful and wonderful, frightening and amazing, every day for the past three years. I'm not sure what's around the next bend, but I hope we'll be ready.

Posted by jenny at 09:28 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

I can't believe that Evan is going to be three in two weeks. I think we're going to have a party for him the last weekend in January--I better get my butt in gear and start planning something. These things have a way of sneaking up on you.

We got a call from the Intermediate Unit today to set up an appointment to discuss Evan's eval from early December. We're going to meet with the team on his birthday, but we'll get the notes from the eval mailed to us before that. I am anxious to see what they say. The only thing I was told on the phone is that Evan will be recommended for a preschool program (not sure which one) and that he will also need to start OT again. No surprises there.

I'm looking forward to the switch, honestly. In home therapy has been great, but we haven't accomplished much in the last few weeks and I doubt we'll make great progress in the next two weeks either. Evan's last therapy is two days before he turns 3. I want to shake things up, get the ball rolling. I want these changes to help Evan make some real headway. I'm sure I'm far too hopeful already, but I really want things to start happening for him.

Evan and Mike and I talked over some goals with Evan for 2005. Laugh if you must, we are totally serious. The three things we plan to tackle this year are:
1. First words (he has to say something sometime, doesn't he?)
2. Potty training (enough with the diapers already)
3. Preschool (it's time to get other kids involved)
I think these are all pretty realistic goals, and Evan agrees with me. We're all going to work our hardest and try our best. If we do them all, fantastic--if we don't, but we tried our hardest, then that's pretty good too.

Posted by jenny at 12:54 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

As midnight struck to usher in 2005, Mike, Mikaele, Tim and I were all slightly tipsy and jumping on a huge backyard trampoline. And they say the old folks have no fun.

I'm hoping I laugh so hard all year long as I did in the first 15 minutes of the new year. Now that's a resolution!

Posted by jenny at 05:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)