Cream of Potato Soup

Today hasn't been the best day. We didn't have anything going on that we needed to leave the house for, and I had hopes for organizing some things in the kitchen and maybe taking Ev out for a walk. But Ev woke up all snotty and watery-eyed, and I was more tired than usual, so not much of that happened. I'm not sure if Ev has allergies or a cold, but he's miserable, and I have been miserable too, for my own reasons.

In addition to the tiredness, I've also been having contractions all day. They are fairly strong Braxton Hicks--noticeable and uncomfortable, but not really doing any business. My doctor had told me previously that if I have more than 4 or 5 in an hour, I should call, even if they aren't regular. Every occurance that I "timed" today found me having three, and then that was it. Somebody is screwing with me. And I noticed that if I was able to lay down and rest they would stop completely, so I wasn't really worried about it. The only thing that had me a little on edge is that I was also having "bathroom issues" (you can guess what I'm referring to) and I know sometimes that can precede labor or cause more contractions. So today was a little bit stressful.

But now it's bedtime, and I'm feeling okay. Not great, but okay. Ev is sleeping (and has been since a little after 7) and I'm hoping a good long sleep is just what he needs. Maybe it will work wonders for me as well. It's been a long week for me and Mike--he's been very busy, and I've been very cranky, and we haven't gotten to spend much time together at all. Tonight we at least caught the Indians game on tv and talked a little bit, and now we're headed to bed at the same time (that never happens).

Our relationship has been neglected a bit lately, and I hate that. I hate that it's so easy to do, and I hate that life really gets in the way sometimes. Luckily, Mike is very patient with my mood swings and early bedtimes, and I appreciate that. There's nothing worse than getting grief about something you don't really have control over. We've both been able to keep our sense of humor through all this, and I think that helps a lot. I'm hoping we can keep laughing over the next couple months when things get really exciting.

Posted by jenny at 10:29 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Evan has so much to say lately, and so much of it is finally becoming clearer. He's had a big problem with consonant substitution for a while now--"d" stands in for "b" and "g", "n" for "m", "t" for "k" and "p", that sort of thing. Now, this isn't uncommon, except for the fact that Ev has all those sounds. He can say the "b" in "bubble" but not "bath", he can say the "m" in "mama" but not in "me". This has been driving his SLP crazy (and me too), as we're constantly correcting but it didn't seem to bother Ev one bit. He seemed fully prepared to go through his life saying "more juice tease (please)" and "hiya, daydee (baby)!"

Yesterday though, Ev spontaneously began saying please correctly. He asked for something "tease" and then stopped and said, "peese". Not perfect yet, but a huge improvement. It's a big deal that he's self correcting and making the attempt to say things better. In the evening yesterday, Mike even got him to say "baby" instead of "daydee", and Ev was so proud of himself! He had to think really hard about it, but now he's saying baby the right way almost all the time. Of course, he is using it in the phrase, "Jack Bauer baby" because I think Mike would still like to name the baby that, but I've got to put my foot down sometime.

Now the poop comes in. Ev has always been able to say that word with much clarity, so somehow "Jack Bauer baby" turned quickly into "Jack Bauer baby poops pants". This is always accompanied by much laughter. He's also begun pointing out in books which people are thought to poop their pants. Ha ha ha. The irony that he himself still poops his pants seems lost on Evan, but that is no matter. I foolishly thought this recognition was also a step on the path to his own potty training, but I was wrong there as well.

So today Ev's been nothing but poop jokes since he woke up. He called me "poop eye" and replied that for breakfast he'd like a "poop sandwich" (he eventually settled on Honey Nut Cheerios). Of course all of this is hilariously funny--in fact, he just referred to the lotion next to me at the desk as "new poop lotion". Oh, to have the sense of humor of a 4 year old (okay, I already do). I guess I don't mind this kind of talk that much, as he's a boy and he's probably going to be making these kind of jokes for the rest of his life. And at least he always gets the right consonant-vowel-consonant order when he says poop.

Posted by jenny at 9:01 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I'm feeling scattered today. Though we didn't do much this weekend (not much constructive anyway), I find that today I'm very tired, and I'm struggling to get through the day. Evan didn't have therapy and the weather was crap, so I think that made things drag more than usual.

Last night Mike's parents stopped by on their way home from visiting his sister in Rochester. They weren't here too long, so we had time in the evening to give Ev a haircut before bed. Since I've been buzzing his hair, I try to do it monthly so it doesn't get too long and hard to cut. But after last night I have to wonder if I'll ever do it again. He was awful. He usually sits in the chair and cries while Mike sits next to him and holds his hand or head as need be. But last night he thrashed, he screamed, he curled up and made it almost impossible to cut his hair. Something that should have taken 5 minutes took well over half an hour. Ev's getting too big for us to hold down, and I don't know what we're going to do about it. I'm fairly certain he would do no better at a barber, so we're really stuck now.

I'm feeling really big now. On the days I don't have to go anywhere, I pretty much just wear some stretch pants and one of Mike's t-shirts, because I only have a few things that fit comfortably anymore. I feel like a total slob and I hate it. I wish I could do something to make myself feel prettier, but at this point I don't even know what would help.

Evan is climbing up the office chair now, so I'll cut this short. I'm hoping things look rosier tomorrow anyway.

Posted by jenny at 6:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

For a couple of months now, we've noticed that Evan is able to sight read words. It started out with logos (Honda, McDonald's, Splash Lagoon) and then moved on to his name, Mom, Dad, hockey, apple juice--you know, the important stuff. He picks up words in often read books, or things he sees on a regular basis. Every few days he'll surprise us by reading something new (yesterday, in fact, the word was "new"). It's pretty exciting.

Then a few weeks ago, Ev started to spell. First just his name--he typed it for me on a computer keyboard, but he can also just spell it out loud or tell you how to write it. Using hand-over-hand he can write his letters correctly, but he has a hard time holding the pen and using firm enough pressure on his own. So he spells his name, and he spells mom "M-A-M". Close enough, right? And that's all he would spell for a while.

Then the other day, Mike says, "Spell Dad."

So Evan says, "M-I-K-E Mike!"

We were shocked. We didn't even know Evan knew Mike's first name, let alone how to spell it. I don't call Mike "Mike" around the house, not ever--I always call him "Michael J" or "Daddy". So that was pretty funny. We taught him to spell "dad" correctly at that time, which he can do, but if you ask him you're still more likely to get "Mike". Ev can also spell "car" and "house", and he seems to be picking up new words all the time in both reading and spelling. Like "Pittsburgh" and "baseball". But I still think it will be a few years before he can spell our last name.

Posted by jenny at 8:38 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

Last night Mike came home from work and announced that he had scored some tickets to a magic show up at the college. He decided to take Evan to give me a little time to rest. I think Mike and I both expected them to be back rather quickly, as we never know how Evan will do in places where he has to sit still.

Evan surprised both of us by behaving pretty well. Prior to the show he read words with Mike in the program, and he behaved through the performance as well. He clapped when appropriate, and participated with the rest of the audience when asked, and for the most part stayed in his seat. Mike said he was really impressed--they left with about a half hour remaining in the show because by that time Ev was getting tired and restless. But that meant he had been there for two hours by that time, and I think that's pretty good.

Just another little milestone for Evan, and one we didn't expect. I guess we've conditioned ourselves into thinking that Ev can't do certain things, and we avoid them in order to not make a scene in public. But sometimes we realize that we've made a mistake, and we're pleasantly surprised. I guess Ev deserves a little magic in his life too.

Posted by jenny at 9:10 AM | Permalink

Today I'm 32 weeks pregnant. Because I got an early release last go 'round, I never got to experience some of the delightful things that are coming to visit me now. I'm not upset, as all the aches and pains in the world are worth avoiding the NICU, but I'm amazed at just how uncomfortable I can be just about all of the time. Keep in mind I'm not complaining, but I thought I'd share a few of these things here so that I can remember how much fun this was when my boys are older.

1. I'm not sleeping. I wake up a minimum of 3 times per night to pee, eat, or just stumble around. And I'm exhausted, but I can't get comfortable in bed or fall asleep before 11:30. Rolling over in bed now requires an elaborate system of ropes and pulleys, and it's a real chore to navigate around the six pillows I need to keep my fat self sleeping on my side.

2. My hips/back/legs are killing me. Luckily, not all at the same time.

3. When I walk for any distance, it starts to feel like the baby is going to fall out onto the floor. Shooting pains in my lowers accompany this feeling, which makes it rather hard to walk.

4. My fingers are still swollen like sausages. They get so bad at night that I can barely bend them. There's way too much fluid sloshing around inside me these days.

5. My c-section incision has started to hurt when I breathe deeply or walk too much, or when I sit the wrong way. It's so not cool.

Add to this the contractions, the hunger, the mood swings and the stretch marks, and I'm one cheery kid. But things are going okay in spite of all this. It's fun to watch a foot or an elbow poke out of my belly at random intervals. It's great to eat ice cream with reckless abandon. It's lovely to just sit and imagine what the little guy might look like or how Evan is going to react to him. Mike is actually getting excited about the baby, and he's been very helpful around the house and tolerant of my craziness. So for all the bad spots, I'd say things are fairly good.

Now we're just playing the waiting game. 8 weeks is forever, and 8 weeks is no time at all.

Posted by jenny at 7:22 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

We had a very nice but very busy Easter today. Evan had a great day--this is the first holiday he's really been interested in so far. He's been talking about the "Easser Dunny" for the past week or so, and we've been telling him how the bunny leaves him a basket with treats and all that stuff. So he was pretty pumped to wake up this morning and find out it was all true!

Ev liked the basket he got at home, especially the snuggly little bunny and the velcro ball game. But at my mom's and my dad's, he got even better stuff--like macaroni and cheese and apple juice and "cash money"! Nothing's funnier than watching him find a bill in a card or a plastic egg and hearing him shout, "cash money! cash money!" while waving the money around in the air. Not only did he enjoy the treats when he received them, he got to enjoy them all over again when we got home tonight. As we unpacked our bags, he reacted with delight and surprise like he had forgotten seeing the stuff just a few hours before, and he couldn't believe all this was for him. He kept saying, "Wow! So cool!". I found it pretty funny.

So it was a nice day. We took our time driving up to Erie, we ate well, we visited and laughed. Now Ev has crashed hard in his bed, and I'm thinking I'll do the same before too long. We've got another busy week ahead, and I want to be ready.

Posted by jenny at 9:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Today is April 13th, and it would have been Lauren's 30th birthday. I've been thinking about her a lot today, and how nice it would be to still have her here. I was thinking too of the birthday parties she used to have and the ways we used to celebrate together--our little rituals and traditions. I'm celebrating her in my own way today, because that seems more productive than my selfish wishes that she were here to laugh with me and see my sons grow up. So happy 30th Lo, you're always in my heart.

April 13th also means that we're two months away from our official June 13th due date. Sometime in the next two months, the shit is going to go down. I had a doctor's appointment this morning, and all is still fine. Everything is fine. Blood pressure, urine, weight, measurements--all of it. He was moving around so much the doctor could barely get a hearbeat on him, but that's a good thing I guess. So all remains well for us, and my next appointment isn't until May 4th. Can you imagine? That's 34 weeks. I never imagined I could be 34 weeks pregnant.

I guess I'd like to think my dear friend Lo has had a hand in all of this pregnancy stuff. I know she's looking out for me if she is able, so I'm very thankful for that. If I can keep things up on my end, and I have a little help from my friends, I might just see this thing through. And I can't think of anything better than that.

Posted by jenny at 7:49 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

I just was in the shower, and I was reminded that my husband is so good to me. I forgot to mention this in all the pinkeye excitement of last week, but Mike brought me a special present home from his trip to DC. When we were going over his itinerary before he left, I noted that his layover in Pittsburgh on the way home was only about 20 minutes--just enough to get to his next flight. I remember mentioning that was too bad, because if it had been longer I would have asked him to stop at the Body Shop for my favorite mango shower gel. I quickly forgot about my little "request" though, knowing he would have no time to do anything in Pittsburgh but run to the next gate.

What a surprise when he came home and handed me that little green bag! He said he took two minutes in between gate rushing to pick me up the shower gel. I was so excited, because I love that smell and I was in need of a little pick me up that day. It was so nice to know that he was thinking of me, even when he didn't have a minute to spare.

I was using the mango in the shower just now, and I wanted to share the story. I tried to get a good shower in tonight, because my doctor's appointment got moved from 4:30 this afternoon to 7:15 tomorrow morning. This means I have to leave home by 6:30 at the very latest to make it on time. So I thought tonight would be a better time for some serious showering (and shaving, because one never knows when one might be sent across the street to L & D). Now I'm clean and fresh and ready for bed, smelling of mangoes and happy that I have such a caring husband.

Posted by jenny at 10:18 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

Today I sneezed, and Evan said, "bess you, mamam." I didn't even know he knew that expression. What a darling boy.

Posted by jenny at 9:09 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Evan's talking a ton lately. His therapists have noticed it, and we've definitely seen it here at home too. He makes a running commentary when we're in the car: "blue car, red car, green truck, big truck, BIG truck! Get Go for gas? Evan go Erie? Shop now? Turn here!" and so on. It's not very sophisticated, but he certainly has a lot to say.

At home he greets us with a "hi" each morning, and then usually demands "more snuggle blanket". He asks for things like "more orange juice in purple cup please", or "easy mac for lunch now". He even talks to himself while he plays, which is so funny. Yesterday he was playing with his baby Elmo, instructing him to "drink the bottle" and when he was playing cars he took them to the garage for "new tires now". It's just such a difference from where he used to be.

The best thing is that Ev wants to talk on the phone now. The other day, he even called Mike and Mike's mom (I dialed) and spoke to both of them himself with no help from me. Granted, most of what he says on the phone is just repeating words back to the person on the other end, but it is a start. The only difficultly is finding people who are home during the day and don't mind a lengthy conversation with a four year old. As it is, Evan would be on the phone with Mike ten times a day if I let him, but then Daddy might not have a job anymore. So look out, you never know when Ev might be calling.

Posted by jenny at 9:42 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

This afternoon we took Evan up to the park to hit some baseballs and play at the playground. He's been going crazy after being in the house so much the past week, and I think we all needed a bit of fresh air. It was a nice time--the sun was shining, and Ev was excited to be outside. The only bad part of the day for me was my own waddling around the park like a hippopotamus. I hadn't noticed it so much just being in the house, but when I was trying to chase down baseballs or follow Ev to the swings, I realized how large and slow I've become. It's sad really, but I guess it comes with the territory.

I wouldn't know, of course, because as of this weekend I'm as pregnant as I've ever been. Thrilling, isn't it? I'll be 31 weeks on Tuesday, and Evan was born midway through his 30th week. So I'm now in uncharted territory, and it's a little odd. Nothing remarkable has changed over the past few days, but I've reached a good point where I can say anything from here on out is considered a win.

I'm actually feeling pretty good, aside from the hippo stuff. I am having trouble with my hips hurting, and my hands get swollen almost every day now, but other than that I'm doing okay. Last week my doctor started me on an iron supplement, as my iron was low at my last check-up. It has helped a little with fatigue--I had been feeling very tired, almost to the point of not being able to do anything in the afternoons, and that has lessened. I'm glad for that, because I had fallen asleep on the couch more than once while Ev played trains, and that's not cool.

My next doctor's appointment is Wednesday, and I'm guessing all will be well and we'll just keep going. We're down into the single digits of weeks left, and that is both exciting and terrifying. Mostly because that means we're going to have to pick a name.

Posted by jenny at 10:22 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Evan's back at school today for the first time this week. I think he'd have liked to stay home, but he doesn't have school all of next week either (spring break, because we all know how stressful preschool is). So I figured he needed to get in there at least one day, for his well-being and my sanity. His eyes are still not great, but they look a bit better and he's been on the antibiotic long enough that he's not contagious anymore. That was good enough for me.

He was up until almost 11 last night--the combination of a nap in the car and the excitement of having Mike home just wound him right up. He was laying in bed with us, and we were all quiet, hoping that super snuggles and having us both there would help him relax. Ev did start to doze off at one point, his breathing became heavy, and then we heard him sit up and yell, "EAT THE BELLY!" This is a game he and Mike play where they insist they are hungry and try to eat each other's bellies, resulting in much laughter. Simple, yes, but very entertaining. Just not so much that late at night.

Now I'm alone for the first time in days, and it feels weird. I should be cleaning the downstairs, scrubbing toilets, something productive. Instead I'm just sitting here, writing emails and feeling a baby bouncing around in my belly. He apparently likes The Sugarcubes. And REM.

Posted by jenny at 9:12 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I called Evan off of school this morning, as he's still got the crud. He's eating some cereal now, and I've already been on the phone to the doctor's office. They insist that the drops have been called in to the pharmacy (in a somewhat annoyed tone, of course). So my next plan of action is to get dressed, go up to the pharmacy, and not leave until I get some satisfaction. I should be plenty bitchy for that, as my hips are killing me and my fingers are swelled up like sausages. If my bitchiness fails to get results, know that Evan is eating Coco Puffs and his fury will be unleashed if our demands are not met (thanks Eden for the suggestion).

ETA: We finally got the drops! Once we got to the pharmacy, they still had nothing for Ev, so I waited there while the pharmacist called the doctor and things got straightened out. I still don't know whose fault this whole fiasco was, but at this point I'm just glad it's over. Now we move to actually trying to get the drops into Evan's eyes....

Posted by jenny at 8:54 AM | Permalink | Comments (6)

Today just stunk. I'm so angry and frustrated, and I just feel like crying. Mike left town yesterday afternoon because he's speaking tomorrow at a conference in DC. He'll be back Wednesday, and under ordinary circumstances I'd handle his absence quite well. But I'm pregnant you know, so everything is automatically worsened by my fragile emotional state. Still, I was sure this would be easy. Evan was supposed to have therapy today and school tomorrow and Wednesday, so I figured we'd be busy enough, and I'd have some time to myself, and the days would fly by.

But yesterday Ev woke up with crusty eyes and a runny nose. And when I say crusty eyes, I mean red and swollen and spewing yellow pus crusty. I called the doctor this morning because it was worse, and my suspicions were correct--he has pinkeye. I'm fairly certain he picked it up at that same doctor's office last week because there was a kid running rampant in the waiting room with a raging case of the crud eye. So he's got pinkeye, which is highly contagious and means no therapy or school or visits with friends for the forseeable future. My week just got about ten days longer.

Then the girl at the doctor's office says she'll call some drops in to the pharmacy for me. Great. That was at 8:30 this morning, so I waited until about 11:30 to go pick them up. After wrangling Evan into the store (he won't sit in the cart anymore, nor will he walk like a civilized person) I find that the office hasn't called anything in yet. So we head home, and I wait. I call the pharmacy back at 3:30, still nothing. I call the doctor's office back. They assure me it will be called in. I call the pharmacy again just now, and nothing's been called in. The doctor's office is closed for the day now. And Evan still has very crusty eyes.

I just started crying. And crying. And crying. Evan felt bad, I could tell, and broke away from his trucks to come hug me. His sympathy has run out though, and I'm still feeling pretty bent out of shape. Normally this day would have just been irritating, but because of my raging hormones, I feel like the world is ending. The only thing I'm hoping for now is an early bed time and the energy to deal with this all tomorrow.

Posted by jenny at 6:42 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

The last few days have been insane--we've been very busy, and I'm just now catching my breath. Thursday night was the big Erie Blogger meet and greet, and I really enjoyed it. It was nice to meet everyone and not nearly as awkward as I feared it would be! Evan enjoyed it too--he seemed to have a pretty good time playing with Z (daughter of Eden), but perhaps next time I'll try finding a babysitter. As much fun as Ev is, I'm sure I'd get to chat with more people if I wasn't chasing him around!

Then Saturday was my baby shower. Beth and Cara were kind enough to throw it for me, and it really was a lovely party. Just what I would have planned myself-- very low key with no embarrassing games. It was nice to spend some time visiting with family and friends I don't get to see that often, and of course we got tons of excellent baby loot. I don't think there's much left that we need, and I feel very lucky about that. It was definitely a great day.

Now it's Sunday night, and I'm wiped out to start the new week. To top it off, Mike's busy doing a conference for the next few days, and Evan is coming down with a cold. I hope I find some energy somewhere, because it's going to be a tough go if I don't! And I'd really like to finish getting the baby's room ready over the next few days. There's not a ton left to do, but I know I won't be able to relax until it's done.

Posted by jenny at 9:45 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)