April 13th

Today is April 13th, and it would have been Lauren's 30th birthday. I've been thinking about her a lot today, and how nice it would be to still have her here. I was thinking too of the birthday parties she used to have and the ways we used to celebrate together--our little rituals and traditions. I'm celebrating her in my own way today, because that seems more productive than my selfish wishes that she were here to laugh with me and see my sons grow up. So happy 30th Lo, you're always in my heart.

April 13th also means that we're two months away from our official June 13th due date. Sometime in the next two months, the shit is going to go down. I had a doctor's appointment this morning, and all is still fine. Everything is fine. Blood pressure, urine, weight, measurements--all of it. He was moving around so much the doctor could barely get a hearbeat on him, but that's a good thing I guess. So all remains well for us, and my next appointment isn't until May 4th. Can you imagine? That's 34 weeks. I never imagined I could be 34 weeks pregnant.

I guess I'd like to think my dear friend Lo has had a hand in all of this pregnancy stuff. I know she's looking out for me if she is able, so I'm very thankful for that. If I can keep things up on my end, and I have a little help from my friends, I might just see this thing through. And I can't think of anything better than that.