The joke's on me

I was waiting for it, for the fun to begin, and now it really has. I haven't slept more than two hours a night for the last three. I'm so tired I can barely see straight, and my back is annoyed with me for spending the last two weeks on the couch downstairs. I miss my bed, and I miss being somewhat cheerful, because I've become very grumpy over the last two days.

Grady is an excellent sleeper. During the day, he will sleep in his bassinet between feedings, while Evan and I play together or I do things around the house. He's awake for a good stretch in the morning and again in the early evening. He does well at night too, when I'm holding him. He nurses, he sleeps, but when I go to put him down, he screams. I pick him back up so as not to wake Evan, and he goes to sleep again. But of course, I can't sleep when I'm holding him, so that's where the two hours a night comes in. I don't want to start cosleeping either. We did that with Evan out of necessity, but I really don't feel comfortable doing it this time around.

I could be sleeping now, while Ev is at school, but Grady has been alternating between awake/alert and nursing for the last two hours. So I'm awake too, and typing with one hand. Ten bucks says he'll go back to sleep at 11:30, moments before Ev steps off the bus. I'm feeling very defeated by this. I know this is "normal" for a newborn, but I guess I had forgotten how tired you can get. At least with Evan I could nap when he did. I miss that.

Now he's just crapped in a very loud fashion, so I have to cut this short. Yes, the fun has definitely begun.