How is it you're feeling so uneasy?

Today my brother and his fiancee begin taking the bar exam (he in PA, she in NY and NJ). I talked to Jerry last night and I could tell from his voice that he was a little agitated. He's a great test taker, did very well in law school, and kicked ass on the practice tests, but he was still a little nervous. I totally understand, but I'm sure both he and Tammy will do well. I'm still thinking of them today though, just in case that would help.

Grady gave us his first real smile yesterday. All the hard work suddenly becomes so much more rewarding when he gives you that grin. I'll try to get a picture of it, but it's difficult, as the smiles are fleeting and usually occur when my boob is hanging out or I just got barfed on or something like that.

Tonight is going to be epic at our house. We're leaving the boys with a babysitter for the first time--someone who is not related to us and we will pay her money. I know, it's crazy. Crazy that Ev is almost 5 and we've never done it, and crazy that we decide to do it when Grady is only 7 weeks old. We're so casual about the second kid, aren't we? But it's gotten to the point where we need to have someone to watch the boys during the week, times when family is not available, and this seemed like as good a time as any--Clerks 2 came out this past weekend.

I'm not nervous at all about leaving the boys. The lovely young lady who will be watching them is someone we've known for a few years now, and she's very capable. I honestly thought I'd be freaking out about taking this step, but I'm not. I guess I'm hurting that much for two whole hours without a kid hanging on me. It will be good.