Three in the meat

Today was Grady's two month check-up. He's 12 pounds, 14 ounces, and 22 inches long. Short and fat, as the doctor said. However, saying that he's 22 inches means he's only grown an inch since he was born, and I find that hard to believe--I know he's gotten longer than that. So they either measured wrong today, or measured wrong in the hospital when he was born. Of course, I could be wrong myself, and I'm just getting defensive because they called my kid short and fat.

Grady also got tested for whooping cough due to his lingering cold symptoms, and he got three shots in his tender little thighs. While we were waiting for the doctor, Mike was reading over all of the information sheets they give you about each vaccine. He turned to me and said, "Now, which is the one that's going to give him autism?". I joked back, "Don't worry honey, that one doesn't come until 15 months."

And there it was. We haven't talked about it since he's been born, but there's the secret fear we harbor in having another baby, especially a boy. The A word. I think we're both terrified that we may walk down that road again, and there's nothing we can do about it. Now, let me say that we're not sure that Evan is autistic, as he's never been formally diagnosed. And we're not saying the vaccine played a part, though it does please me greatly to know that no vaccines used in our pediatrician's office contain mercury in any form. But we all know that Evan is different from other kids. It may be PDD-NOS, or it could be a developmental delay/disability due to his prematurity--we may never know. But we do know Ev has had it tough so far, and he's probably going to have a hard time all along the way.

That's the last thing you want for your kids, a tough life. Yeah, it is hard on us too--we've been under constant stress about it since Ev was born. But the taking him to therapy, and meeting with teachers, and struggling to teach him is only a small thing compared to what Evan has to go through himself to learn and grow. Nothing comes easy for him, and each new thing he learns is a small victory. We're just hoping Grady doesn't have as tough a time as his older brother has had.

Already we can see differences. Grady isn't as fussy as Ev was, he doesn't cry as much. He is quicker to smile and seems to be more social (and vocal) than his brother. But then again, that was four years ago--maybe my memory is fuzzy, and maybe I'm seeing what I want to see. Only time will tell if Grady is going to have a hard time as well. And it will be some time before I'm able to sit back and relax.