Cream of Potato Soup

I swear I started decorating for Christmas a few days ago, but as of this morning I'm only about half done and my entire downstairs is littered with boxes and other debris. See, in order to put up the tree, I had to rearrange the furniture. I still haven't found a suitable home for everything. Then I got the tree up, but the lights (that I swear were all working before I put them on the tree) were half out, so I had to go get new ones. Now the tree is lit, but I have to get all the ornaments on and such before I can put the boxes back downstairs. It's definitely harder to get things done with both kids in the house.

We did hang the stockings though, which Ev is super excited about. He keeps asking when Santa is going to come and put Whoppers in his. That's all he wants, a big old carton of Whoppers. Simple is best. Grady's been enjoying the lights and the commotion, but he hasn't wanted to give me any time to complete the wonderful holiday transformation of our living room. He's been very clingy lately, which is making my life very difficult. I think he's gaining skills too quickly now--growing and rolling and sitting and possibly teething, and it's making him grumpy. Even now, he's on my lap gumming at a toy.

So I'm hoping that we get things back to normal in here by the weekend. I want to relax and enjoy the season, but I cannot feel calm when my world is in chaos.

Posted by jenny at 10:11 AM | Permalink

After a long holiday weekend, I'm finding it hard to get back in the swing of things. We've been gone from home since lunchtime Thursday, so I've got a lot of catching up to do--unpacking and laundry and all that fun stuff. Not to mention the decorating I've got planned for the day, along with a head spinning with Christmas card ideas and shopping lists. I love this time of year, but it does make for a lot of work.

We spent Thursday in Erie, first having dinner with my mom, and then later at my dad's. In between times, I got in a short visit with Cara and her family. I'm glad I got to see her because she'll be with her husband's family at Christmas this year. But of course it was a long day, and G was a little cranky, and Evan had more energy than he knew what to do with. I'm not sure where it came from--while the rest of us ate two entire turkey dinners, Evan ate some Cheerios, a handful of Hershey's Kisses, a bowl of Cool-Whip, and two slices of buttered toast. That's for lunch and dinner. Yeah. Maybe his way is the way to go.

At about 8:30 Thursday night, we headed west to spend the remainder of the weekend with Mike's family. We got to their house just before 11, and stayed until the end of the early football games yesterday. It was a nice weekend--we had another great turkey dinner and celebrated Grandma's birthday, did some shopping and just hung out. The only bad part was that both of our nephews were sick, so we spent a lot of time washing hands and disinfecting toys and crossing our fingers. It was the same thing our guys had at the end of October, and the boys were looking better by Sunday morning, so here's hoping that it doesn't come back to our house again.

Now, I'm off to the basement to dig out the tree and lights and sixteen other boxes of joy. It's going to be quite a day.

Posted by jenny at 8:38 AM | Permalink

Happy Thanksgiving! This year, I am of course thankful for my loving husband, two beautiful sons, and that someone else is cooking today. That makes me one happy kid. I hope everyone enjoys one of the best holidays of the year!

Posted by jenny at 11:23 AM | Permalink

Grady loves it when I sing to him. He'll smile, and gaze adoringly into my eyes, no matter what the tune. He seems to enjoy Barenaked Ladies and Matthew Sweet, though he's also into Natalie Merchant and Aimee Mann. Really, I think he's the type that would take anything, as long as it's not too harsh.

Evan hates it when I sing. He screams for me to stop and covers his ears. I know my voice isn't great, but that kind of criticism is tough to take, especially from your own kid. Ev likes to sing himself though--he's learned a lot of songs in school and is pretty good at remembering all the words. It's sweet to hear him sing, though he's easily embarrassed if you call attention to it.

I'm thinking about this as I sit with Grady, trying to cheer him enough so I can get some work done around the house. Two brothers, so similar, yet so different already. It will be something to watch them grow, and see what each one enjoys. Will G like sports as much as Evan does, or will he be a bookworm like his mom? Will they be talented musicians like their dad, or unable to carry a tune in a bucket? We've seen a lot of Evan already--his likes, his dislikes, his personality--but so much of G is yet to be revealed. I'm excited to get to know these boys better in the coming years. I know a lot of what I do will shape them, but I think they have just as much power to shape me. They are two different people, both with so much to bring to our family, and that's amazing.

Posted by jenny at 10:12 AM | Permalink

Most of the snottiness has left our home, and I am thrilled. I'm also thrilled that we have a short week this week--two days of school and one therapy before the fun begins. It will be nice for me to have a little change in routine. Sometimes I think I need it a lot more than the boys do.

Evan has been getting very excited about Christmas. This is the first year that he's remembered things from last year, so that has been interesting. He remembers Santa coming to his preschool, and he remembers our tree with the blue and white lights. Once all the decorations started appearing around town, Ev began to think that Christmas was probably only a day or two away and it's been difficult to convince him otherwise. I finally started telling him that Christmas doesn't come until after Thanksgiving, so now he wakes up every morning telling me he's "ready to go to Thanksgiving". I'm pretty sure he thinks Thanksgiving is a place, since we do travel to visit all of his grandparents that day. I'll have to pick up an Advent calendar to get us through the time after Thanksgiving, or it's going to be a very long December.

Because I like to add fuel to the fire, I took Evan and Grady up to the mall in Erie yesterday. I thought Ev would get a kick out of seeing all the decorations and lights, and I thought maybe we'd even try to see Santa himself. We've never done that before, as Ev has always been a little afraid of people in costume and prone to meltdown. But Ev's grown a lot in the past year, and he marched right up to Santa to say hi. That's about all he said--he stood next to Santa instead of sitting on his lap, and he didn't say anything when he was asked what he wanted for Christmas, but it was still good. Evan still enjoyed seeing him (and wouldn't stop talking about it once we left), so that was pretty special.

So the holiday season is upon us, and we're ready to go. Once the turkey gets carved on Thursday, it is on.

Posted by jenny at 8:25 AM | Permalink

I shouldn't be surprised, but both boys are sick again. Nothing serious, but Grady has been snotty and coughing for the last two days, and this morning Ev woke up with a runny nose. It's more of an annoyance than anything. I'll just be happy if we can get it out of the way this week before the holiday next week. Preschool is just a giant germ farm.

Speaking of which, Evan's mad at me this morning because I told him there was no school. There's never school for him on Fridays, but he'd go seven days a week if he could. I know that's a good thing, but man it's hard to explain when he can't go. He thinks I'm the one standing between him and all that preschool goodness. Luckily, we brought out the old bus tent last night, so that should keep him happy for most of the day. I'll try to get some pictures later.

Grady is sitting up pretty well these days--he's usually able to get a few minutes in before he topples over. It's fun to watch, but you either have to be extra vigilant or pack pillows around him to avoid injury. He's also much more interested in playing with Evan these days, which I think is really cute. Evan thinks it's really annoying. I heard what I'm sure will be the first of many "Grady, don't touch me!" 's this morning. Two kids, four and a half years apart. What a hoot this is going to be.

Posted by jenny at 8:27 AM | Permalink

In this day of me feeling glum over evaluations and such, Evan still has a way to brighten my day. When I got home from swimming tonight, I took him upstairs for a bath. As I was filling the tub, he was undressing himself and he said, "I like to get a bath tonight, because I stinky, like farts."

Posted by jenny at 8:14 PM | Permalink

Ugh.

So Evan's preschool teacher calls today because we need to start thinking about transition. Ev will be going to kindergarten nine months from now, but we have to begin working right now to make sure things go smoothly. I'm supposed to arrange for him to go back to Children's Hospital in Pittsburgh for yet another evaluation. He's never gotten a definite diagnosis, and now that matters, so it's time for us to go ahead and get a label stuck on whatever this is.

Once that's done, we have a choice. Ev can go to our neighboorhood school with "learning support", or he can go to another school across town with a dedicated autism classroom. His current teacher seems to think that the autism room would be the best fit for him now--that it would make the change less difficult for him. He would also go there with the hope of eventually being transitioned into a regular class. Mike and I are supposed to make appointments to look at both classes and maybe that will help us decide.

Honestly, all this does is give me a sick feeling in my stomach. I'm happy with the way things are, and this upcoming change has me a little bent out of shape. Every time we go through one of these evals, it just stirs up all those old feelings--why Evan? Why can't things just be normal? Why can't he just go to school like every other kid and have it not be an issue? Why is everything so complicated? And of course, all of our choices come into question, and we're wondering if we're doing enough to help him, if we're doing things right. There's no way to tell, short of a crystal ball that shows me an Ev in third grade and you can't tell he's any different from any other kid in his class.

This just sucks, and it's really got me down today. For every moment of pride and accomplishment, there are two more of guilt and worry.

Posted by jenny at 2:51 PM | Permalink

I'm not sure if anyone will remember this, but for the last two years I've written goals for Ev on his birthday. Here is a link to my thoughts on his fourth birthday. I feel like it's a good way of tracking his progress, and it gives me something specific to work on (anyone who knows me knows how much I love making lists). It gives me great pleasure to say that Ev has accomplished all his goals for this year, with over two months to spare!

1. Potty training--check! Ev's dry and clean even at night, and he rarely has accidents (in fact, the last one was a few weeks ago when he was sick, so I can understand that). Once he set his mind to it this time, it really happened quickly, and I'm really proud of him.
2. Improving speech--check! Ev is so much easier to understand now. I'm always pleasantly surprised when I don't have to translate for him. He still has issues with certain sounds, but he's really made great progress and he continues to improve almost daily. It's such a blessing for us (though I may not say that after he's whined for something for 15 minutes!). He's really getting there.
3. Drinking from a cup--check! Ev has been doing this for a while, but last week I finally threw away the last of our sippy cups. It felt good to make a clean break! And just in time too, because in another month or two Grady's going to be starting on a sippy himself.
4. Accepting a new sibling--check! Ev has done great with this one too. We haven't had many problems at all with the boys (knock wood), aside from when Grady is crying. But even then, Ev tries to comfort him or will suggest to me that Grady is hungry. There are times when Ev wants nothing to do with G, like on the school bus, but I think that's just Ev trying to preserve those areas of life that are solely his. He loves his brother, but preschool is his place.

So that's where we are, two months before Ev turns five. I feel like this has been a wonderful year for him, and next year is going to be even more exciting (kindergarten!). I know he still has a long way to go, but it's great to see him making such significant progress too. Our little man is growing up, and I'm so pleased and proud--time for me to make a new list!

Posted by jenny at 9:53 AM | Permalink

Grady is five months old today. Hard to believe, isn't it? As I write this, he's on the living room floor, on his belly, turning himself in circles. Grady's all about the wild flapping of limbs as a means of locomotion. He's also all about the stuffing things in his mouth. If he's not eating, he's got his fingers or yours in his mouth. Dangle a toy in front of him, and he'll carefully grab it with one hand, bring his other hand to it, and then jam it into his open maw. Hey, it keeps him happy. He also seems intent on learning to sit up sooner rather than later--I think he has grown tired of the view from the floor.

Evan's new thing seems to be "I heard you calling me". Rather than getting himself out of bed in the morning, he'll lay there and yell "Mommy!" over and over again until you go to him, at which time he will say, "I heard you calling me". This stems from an incident a few weeks ago when he cried out for me in the night and I went to him, told him I heard him calling me, and then snuggled with him for a few minutes. I guess it helped him realize his power, because everything now has become about yelling for Mommy.

I fall for it every time too. I'd say 95% of the time, Ev is just saying my name to say it, but I still insist on answering. It turns into this sick and annoying game of "Mommy!"/"What?!" that can go on forever. It makes me very frazzled, and it irritates Mike because he tells me I should just ignore it and Ev will stop. Maybe that's true, but I can't seem to train myself not to answer, so it continues.

Other than that though, Ev seems to be having loads of fun. He loves his routine of school and therapy so much that he asks to do both even on days he has off. His speech has improved so much--he's easier to understand and will self correct a lot of the time too. For example, he says "chicken sink" instead of "kitchen sink", but he'll usually give it a second try if he says it wrong. He also says "compuker" instead of "computer", and "rover" instead of "level". I think we should record some of this goodness to show future girlfriends--it won't be around forever.

Posted by jenny at 9:02 AM | Permalink

I thought that this week was going to be quiet, which would have been great after the past two weeks of travel and funeral. But if you've seen the pictures, you know we went to the pumpkin farm and trick or treating up in Erie. The pumpkin farm was the most fun ever--Evan didn't ever want to leave. Monday was a gorgeous day anyway, and it was great to be outside. Ev had a blast on the hay ride (G liked that part too), the slides, and playing with trucks in the dirt. We even tried the pumpkin slingshot. It was a wonderful day and I'm glad we got the chance to get out.

Trick or treating was fun too--we visited my mom, dad, aunt and cousins, and Ev got his first chance to go around to different houses with Grandpa and cousin Linda. He did well, apart from the time he tried to give away his candy instead of accepting some, but that was a minor slip. He even got to see a fire truck come up Grandpa's street (and give him candy), so he thought that was fantastic. Grady was a little less impressed, but he did okay. I think he was irritated with his leopard costume, mostly because the paws covered his precious fists so he couldn't get them in his mouth.

We've been spending the rest of the week battling whatever disease Evan brought home from preschool--Ev had it while I was in NC, G got it sometime last weekend, and it finally caught up with me too. Nothing debilitating, I'm just very tired and have a sore throat. I've been trying to rest and get well, but that means no laundry has been done and my house looks like hell on wheels. It's also tough because Grady is well during the day, but at night he mysteriously becomes sick again. This means I spend a good portion of the nights up with him, helping him sit up so he can cough productively, and calming him when he cries. I don't mind this too much, but it's just not the best for getting my own rest.

Mike's been trying to help around the house, but he's also been busy getting ready for his big week next week. On Wednesday he's giving a talk at CMU about Gnosh, and on Thursday he'll be up in Erie presenting at the finals of the business plan contest he entered a few months ago. This on top of work and everything else has led to a lot of late nights for him as well.

Hopefully the weekend will be a quiet one. We're going up to Erie at some point to visit my mom for her birthday (and hopefully to ride the new X-Scream!) But other than that, we'll be relaxing at home, which is exactly what we all need.

Posted by jenny at 7:59 AM | Permalink